Over the last couple of years, I have been on a spiritual
journey. It started when a priest stood in front of the congregation and
encouraged us to vote for a candidate who was against abortion. This was not
his job is what I remember thinking. Voting is such a personal thing. I did not
go back. Moreover, they wanted fifty dollars for my daughter to go to Sunday
school.
I went through a time when I no longer believed God exited.
It felt good to know have the added stress of having to please yet one more individual
in my life. That is what people need when shit falls apart; you have yet one
more individual that thinks you are a failure. In addition, makes you feel like
a failure. Oh yes, sign me up for that.
Growing up I went to church even when my parents did not. I
had so much bullshit shoved on me, that it is a miracle I did not become
atheist (I will explain later) sooner.
They contradicted everything in the bible. Things like, we all was
taught that when David and the Israelites reclaimed Jerusalem, they sang and
danced. Of course, there was a feast. The church I was forced to go to
contradict the Old Testament by teaching the absence of dancing. Therefore,
they pretty much made shit up as they went along. Boys were giving the option
of questioning things, but girls did not have the option. Every time there
would be a dance at school, the youth leader would schedule an activity called
a lock in. Basically, it was a brainwashing event with activities, movies,
pizza, and popcorn. You were subjected to being told girls are supposed to wait
on boys and shut up. Thank you, but no thank you. I personally had better sense
than to go these brainwashing events. I figured the daytime activities were
exhausting enough. As a kid, I took a great deal of pride knowing that I was
Christian. I did not really know what it meant to be Christian. I certainly,
did not give much thought to the fact Christians stole this country from the
Native Americans, or the genocides they have committed across the world. I did not know there was different sectors of
Christianity. I just knew Baptist.
By the time I was eighteen, I know this was bullshit and I
rarely ever went after that. I was not allowed to express my disbelief in the
whole round of bullshit. I lived in the bible belt of this country and you did
not openly say, “I wonder if God really exist?” If you did, people looked at
you as if you just sprouted a second head. This just was not said or thought of
openly. Everyone prayed. It was crazy. Drop a stitch while knitting, drop to
your knees and pray. Jesus will find your stitch for you. Of course, during the
1980’s television evangelism was hitting its stride. Tammy Faye would come out
with a hundred pounds of makeup looking bozo on crack and Jim would cry at a
drop of a hat. We know who had the hormonal swings in that house. Both the
bitches did. They would act as if they were talking directly to you, and ask
you to send them your mortgage payment so they could build a family oriented
park. It was built and stayed open a whopping three months. Eventually they got
caught for tax evasion. Okay, give the IRS a standing ovation for that. They
brought the Bakers down. When it was all said and done the Bakers had stolen
close to half a billion (I do belief) dollars. They had a mansion that Joel
Osteen would be proud to own. Actually, I think he does. And my favorite part
of the crazy train was the air-conditioned doghouse. (My dog had an
air-conditioned doghouse to, inside with me.)
At twenty-seven I went through a process to join the
Catholic Church. It made sense at the time. In April of 1972, I became very
ill. The only person on the hospital floor of the University of New York in
Syracuse New York was a Priest. Seeing that I was so sick and probable would
not make it to be six months, he baptized me. Now my mom knew this, and she
decided when I was six years old that I should go ahead and be baptized. This
included a preacher, water, and me, which I did not know how to swim. Talk
about anxiety. She could have told my father about the priest baptizing me when
I was a baby, and I would not had to go through that but she did not.
After 9/11, I became aware of Islam, but did not really give
it much thought. I remember seeing an advertisement for a special in PBS about
Islam. The ad had a story about Muhammad and how he once gave an enemy solider
a sword to ensure a clear victory for Islam. That was the extent of my
interest.
After surviving domestic violence and having my life fall
apart, I prayed constantly. No answer for months. Than it came to me. There is
no God. So I stop praying and put down the bible. Two years later, I see things
clearly. I mentioned the term Atheist earlier. Generally, Atheist is the
disbelief in god for any reason. The aspect of Atheism that I agree completely with
is that when you remove reward, say heaven, and a threat of hell, you see
someone’s true character. My father use to say, “If you want to see someone’s
true character, watch what they do when they do not think anyone is watching.”
Like Mitt Romney in 2012 election. He was caught saying he was not concerned
about 47% of the American population. He showed his true character when he did
not think anyone was taping him. He did not have the reward of heaven or the
threat of hell. Therefore, he showed his
true character. Once these things are removed, morality truly shows itself. So
in conclusion, what I have come to understand in the two years is that, there
is a creator, as the Native Americans belief.
As a kid, I carried around a bible as a kid and now I see it
for what it is. A tool for mass government control. So with that, I reject the
government definition of Christianity and God. There is no morality or honor in
it. It is sad to see the government has destroyed Christianity that I grew up
believing in. In addition, it is not just Christianity that has been destroyed
by governments. Islam has taken a beating as well. There is nations who belief
that if they blow themselves up, they will go to heaven and find 72 virgins
because they killed Jews and Christians in the process. I have no way of
knowing what Islam was when it first started, because I was not there. Hindu is
another religion that is being destroyed by a government. These governments
have to be stopped before we wake up one day and find a one-world order and
everyone will be Roman Catholic.
The video will be available at https://youtu.be/euiqbNeZ78s. Please enjoy and
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