I have come to the conclusion that the office of the President must be destroyed. This is the only way American society can move forward into the future. The last sixty years have shown how completely useless the office of president is. We will look at some of them here and their failures.
Lyndon B. Johnson. Lyndon Johnson was known for his ability to persuade people into doing things they didn’t want to do. He was relentless when there was something he really wanted like the acceleration of the Vietnam War. It was a small-scale policing action in which the Vietnamese in South Vietnam were in charge of fighting off the Communist North Vietnamese. This is what President JFK wanted. When the situation didn’t reach war status, Johnson got it there once Kennedy was dead and out of the way. I have no doubt Johnson was Donald Trump’s hero and inspiration. They are two peas from the same pod. Pushy aggressive assholes. He declared war on poverty in 1964. We have a bigger poverty problem now than we’ve had since the Great Depression. I think it’s safe to say we have lost that war as well. He opened the school for Green Berets which my late father was one of the first graduating classes and got to meet President Kennedy that day. I am not saying Kennedy was a good guy. Remember, good men, don’t rise to power.
Next up in the ring of assholes are us, Richard Milhous Nixon. Now here is the third runner-up in Asshole of the millennium. He got caught spying on his competition for the next run for president. He also acknowledged a One China Policy. That was the only thing he really did right. Beyond that, he didn’t have the morals of a Vegas Whore. They actually have more morals than most politicians. During his trial for impeachment, a special bitch came to light. We will get back to Hillary “Killary” Rodham Clinton later. In the end, Nixon surrendered and resigned so he didn’t end up in prison. As if that would ever happen. About as much chance as Ghislaine Maxwell or Hillary “Killary” Clinton.
Next up is James “Jimmy Peanut Farmer” Carter. That is a nickname he was given. You skipped Gerald Ford. Other than being shot by one of Charles Mason’s girls, Ford didn’t do anything worth remembering. Carter, however, pissed off the Iranians to the point they chased the Shah of Iran out of Iran. He came to go old America just like the German Nazis. He landed in Minnesota’s Mayo Clinic for treatment for Cancer we were told. Given the source of information, I don’t believe it for a minute.
This brings us up to Mr. “Make America Great Again” himself. No, not Trump yet. Ronald Reagen. Hollywood Actor turned politician. Thank God Arnold Schwarzenegger wasn’t born in America. Reagan declared war on drugs. Again I think we can say that is yet another war that has been lost. His secondary claim to fame was he was an ‘outsider’ not part of the ‘boys club’ in DC. Bullshit! Just like Trump he promised to drain the swamp. He failed as well. He had two terms of this asshole.
Asshole of the Millenium candidate number two is George Herbert Walker Bush. This shithead gave us a promise that our taxes would not go up. We had a war in the Persian Gulf that lasted six months and it was over. Okay! I will give him credit for that. Then he started drafting NAFTA. You know that agreement that gave China access to our military technology. It also gave them the ability to make our medication. And pretty much every manufacturing job we had. He was a one-term president. Looking at the collateral damage his son George Walker Bush did in two terms, I realize that was for the best.
Next up was William Jefferson Clinton. Too bad Sigmund Freud was dead before his two-term presidency. Old wild Willy there would have given Freud a shit load of material to write about. Bill already had the need for a shrink. This is where that special bitch Hillary comes back to front and center after she was fired during the Nixon impeachment debacle. Why? The bitch did what she always does: LIED… Eventually, Vincent Foster, an investment friend of theirs, screwed and got caught falsifying documents. His mistake nearly got the Clintons in hot water. To get out of that hot water they had him culled. Apparently Vincent Foster was so upset he went into a park and shot himself twice in the back of the head. Yeah! Eventually, Wild Willy was impeached because he lied to Congress about an affair he had with Monica Lewinsky. I don’t care that he had an affair. Given what he has to look at first thing in the morning I think he deserves a piece on the side. I don’t even care that he lied about it. That’s between them. What I do care about is how they disgraced the military. One disaster after another.
Next up is without a doubt the winner of “Boob” of the year. George Walker Bush with those dumbo ears that he could fly to Guam with. Right quick let’s look at the context I use the word boob in. When a Southern says ‘he is such a boob’ what we are saying is the guy is an idiot. Now we will start with 9/11. The tragedy that set him into history. The man his father helped fund, train, and set loose in Afghanistan Osama Bin Laden supposedly organized this tragedy. Except he didn’t. Then came the wanted dead or alive posters, t-shirts, and deck of playing cards. These were special. They had the faces of the men we were brainwashed to believe pulled 9/11 off. Talk about bullshit propaganda. He sold Putin to America as a good solid man. I can remember Bush saying that looked into the eyes of Putin and knew that Putin was a good man. I am sure Putin knew what an idiot he was dealing with.
Moving on to Barack Hussien Obama. This guy looked like an elite shithead from day one. Talking down to people left and right. I bought the “Yes, We Can” propaganda from the start. Most people did. He had a lot going for him. Smart, sophisticated, and half black. America was on board. Suddenly, the friendship with Russia was being reset with Hillary “Killary” Clinton in the midst. She was made Secretary of Defense as a consolation to losing the Presidency. Probably a good thing she lost because she gotta see her mayhem up close and personal. Especially in Lybia when her decisions got an Ambassador murdered. Along with his staff and Ghadaffi. Well, there were a variety of awful things done to Omar Ghadaffi. Her explanation was ‘What does it matter how the Ambassador died?’Seriously! That was her attitude.
Now comes the Asshole of the Millenium; Donald J. Trump. This asshole embraced the stereotype people have for Americans. Pompous, narcissistic asshole. He promised Hillary For Prison and on his Inaugural dinner thanked her and Wild Willy for their years of service. Thank God and his Holy Son Jesus Trump was a one-term president. I don’t know if I could have taken a second. He didn’t drain the swamp as he promised. Just like Reagan he put sideboards on it and made it deeper. Everyone he chose for a variety of offices came from the swamp including Mike Pence. Of course, Trump being Trump when Pence didn’t violate the constitution so they could remain in the White House, Trump and his minions turned on Pence. So I guess the upside for Pence is that he's babysitting job from hell is over.
All right now that we have done a quick review of the last fifty years of presidents I think I have made my case that the office of President is outdated. And it’s time to end it. One way or another….
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